i permit you to call me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
