I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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