i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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