bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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