WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
