East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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