don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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