marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
