I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
