If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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