Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
