He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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