If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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