i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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