I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
