It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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