Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wish there were birth control emojis
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
