So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
