you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize