i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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