wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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