32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
