After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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