i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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