just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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