Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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