just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
