WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
