You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
