I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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