Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
love makes seman taste better
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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