uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have demons in me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
