i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
