Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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