Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
