So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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