According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
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She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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