have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
