The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
