so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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