i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
