Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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