someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How's work?
Spinning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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