So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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