I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
