I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
