so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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