All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
