He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
