So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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