kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dear god my vagina.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
