I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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