he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
