Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
