oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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