nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
