her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
