Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize