I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
