Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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