If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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