Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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