I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
