How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
