Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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