Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
