What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
