erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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