Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Enjoy the penises
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
