you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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