I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
